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How to Properly Parent an Infant

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How to Properly Parent an Infant Empty How to Properly Parent an Infant

Post by admin Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:39 pm

Yesterday a two-week old baby was found dead in a home two doors down from my mom's house. She smothered to death while she slept between her parents. This was a completely preventable tragedy, and with the myriad of stories we've heard lately about how young women are caring for their infants, I thought it might be a good idea to give some pointers on how to care for a baby. I'm somewhat aghast that parenting classes aren't REQUIRED once a woman becomes pregnant, but that is another rant for another day. I realize people don't come here to read about how to parent, but just in case someone stumbles across this, maybe it will help prevent a senseless death of another baby.

Tip #1 - DON'T SLEEP WITH YOUR BABY. Period. You can suffocate the baby in your sleep and never realize it until you wake up. Just don't do it. I know it is the "easy" thing to do, especially if you are breastfeeding, but don't don't don't do it. Get up, feed the baby and put them in their crib or cradle.

Tip #2- NEVER PROP A BOTTLE IN A BABY'S MOUTH. A baby can easily aspirate formula if you do this. It can cause a "dry drowning," in which the fluid has entered the baby's lungs, but doesn't actually "drown" until later. If you do not have time to sit down and feed your baby properly, you either need to rearrange your priorities, or give the baby to someone who can take care of your infant.

Tip #3. NEVER, EVER LEAVE YOUR BABY UNATTENDED ON THE COUCH, IN A SWING, ON A CHANGING TABLE, OR ANY OTHER APPARATUS THAT CAN TIP OR THE BABY CAN ROLL OFF OF. Babies learn to roll quite suddenly. All of my children were rolling by themselves at one week old. There is usually no indication that a baby is learning to roll over. They just suddenly do it. And then they do it again and again.

Tip #4. This should be very obvious, but DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY UNATTENDED IN A BATHTUB. No matter how little water is in the tub, a baby can still drown. You should also ALWAYS check the temperature of the water with your wrist to gauge if it is suitable for your baby. Babies have very sensitive skin, and can be easily scalded.

Tip #5. Your baby is NOT a TOY. DO NOT SWING, THROW, SPIN, OR OTHERWISE SHAKE YOUR BABY. Even if a simple game of throwing your baby up in the air elicits giggles at first, a baby's brain can easily smash into its skull and cause permanent brain damage. As for shaken-baby syndrome, SHAKING YOUR BABY WILL NOT MAKE THEM STOP CRYING. It will only exacerbate the crying, and in the worst case scenario, the crying will cease, because the baby will be brain dead. And then dead dead. IF your baby is crying for no apparent reason, THIS IS A SIGNAL TO YOU AS A PARENT. Take your baby for a car ride, try some Gas-X drops, give them a soft back-massage, rub their gums with your finger, do ANYTHING BUT shake your baby. First of all, it won't work. Secondly, the baby doesn't get it. Thirdly, you will wind up in prison. If your baby is crying for no apparent reason, and you have tried every remedy, take them to a doctor immediately. And I do mean immediately. Insist on a blood count and a differential. Babies don't just cry for no reason.

Tip #6. NEVER "SPANK" or OTHERWISE HIT A BABY. If your aim in doing so is to get the baby to comply with your wishes, it won't work. Babies do not understand corporal punishment. The only thing a baby learns from being hit is, they don't like you and will avoid you at all costs. You = Pain to a baby.

Tip#7. CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER WISELY. I cannot stress this point enough. It is a frightening trend that many babies are killed at the hands of a boyfriend or new fiancee, or step-parent. Some states have even instituted programs to educate young moms on the dangers of leaving their babies in the care of their "boyfriends." PLEASE DON'T DO IT. Find other resources. It is well known in the animal world that when a new mate comes in, they more often than not, kill off the previous off-spring. The reason is, they want their own DNA propagated, not the other partner's DNA.....I could expound significantly on this point, but all you have to do is read the thousands of cases on this forum where a baby was murdered or abused by the live-in boyfriend, or the new step-parent, and you will understand. He or she might be the greatest person in the world, but they DO NOT LOVE YOUR BABY LIKE YOU DO.

Please feel free to add to this list, it certainly isn't comprehensive. sad hug
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How to Properly Parent an Infant Empty Re: How to Properly Parent an Infant

Post by momgot2kids Tue Jan 11, 2011 6:16 pm

One piece of advice I would give to any parents once your child is crawling get down yourself crawl around the house look for small objects, light sockets even books can all be chokable. It is something that only takes a few minutes to do and can save from something being pulled down and put into a curious mouth.
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How to Properly Parent an Infant Empty Re: How to Properly Parent an Infant

Post by inmyfloridaopinion Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:31 pm

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY ALONE WITH A PET. EVER. NO MATTER HOW WONDERFUL YOU THINK YOUR PET MIGHT BE, IT'S STILL AN ANIMAL WITH ANIMAL INSTINCTS.

PUT A LOCK ON THE TOILET SEAT SO YOUR BABY WON'T PLAY IN IT OR DROWN.

LOCK UP ALL CHEMICALS AND MEDICATIONS.

KEEP SMALL ITEMS AWAY FROM YOUR BABY. THEY PUT EVERYTHING INTO THEIR MOUTHS.

DON'T EVER, EVER LEAVE YOUR BABY ALONE IN A CAR. HEAT OR COLD CAN BE DEADLY AND SOMEONE COULD KIDNAP YOUR PRECIOUS BABY (WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR CAR).
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How to Properly Parent an Infant Empty Re: How to Properly Parent an Infant

Post by admin Mon May 02, 2011 12:26 pm

I am going to open this thread up to guests so they may ask questions anonymously. This is the ONLY thread guests may post on, but I feel like it will be a useful tool in preventing needless harm to a child. There is no shame in not knowing all the answers, and if you have a question, please just ask. We have thousands of hours of parenting experience combined on this forum, so if you have a question, please ask. We are have a wealth of information and advice here for you.

~Melissa~
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How to Properly Parent an Infant Empty CO-SLEEPING

Post by Gracie77 Sun Jun 05, 2011 1:05 pm

While I agree with your parenting tips, as a co-sleeping, breastfeeding Mommy of two beautiful baby boys (I have been a milk bar for almost 4 yrs, NON-STOP!), I respectfully disagree with your no co-sleeping rule. There have been multiple studies done that suggest that co-sleeping actually prevents SIDS. It has to do with the fact that small babies do not have the ability to regulate their body tempature and breathing (Dr. Sears has a great article explaining this on Kellymom.com), sleeping with Mommy helps baby to do this. Co-sleeping is only dangerous when done irresponsibly! That being said, there are a couple of precautions to take and rules to follow. There are bassinets that actually ATTATCH to Mom's bed that are made specifically for co-sleeping. I use an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper. It secures to the bed which is important because if there is ANY space (even an inch) there is potential for baby to fall between bed and bassinet and suffocate! NEVER use a bassinet on wheels or one that is not made specifically for co-sleeping. What I like about the co-sleeper is that the side that is against the bed has a retractable rail. It allows me to co-sleep with my baby safely, giving baby his own sleeping area and I don't have to get out of bed to breastfeed! When breastfeeding every hour or so, it's a Godsend! Just scoop baby up, feed and then place him back in the co-sleeper when done. Also, there are bassinet's that are made for the middle of Mom and Dad's bed! Sleep positioners that are also made just for co-sleeping are usefull also! Some parents don't want to put their baby in a crib after being inside of them for 10 months, I am one of the Mommy's that feel much more secure having my baby next to me while sleeping. There is absolutely nothing wrong with co-sleeping when done correctly! Just as with all things, it is our responsibility to do what is best for baby and to keep baby safe. There are plenty of SAFE options when it comes to co-sleeping, if one wants to co-sleep and takes the proper precautions, there is nothing wrong with it and, in my opinion it becomes even more safe then putting baby in a crib. I agree 100% that one should NEVER just stick baby next to you in bed without a co-sleeper/positioner, especially before baby can lift it's head on it's own. Also, another important rule to follow is while breastfeeding when taking pain medication (contrary to popular belief, it is perfectly safe to BF while taking pain medication), such as after C-section, NEVER lay down to feed. Pain medication tends to make Moms drowsy and as a result we may become heavily sedated, especially when already exausted. Always sit up to breastfeed if medicated or extremely tired as a precaution, better safe then sorry! hithere

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Post by twinkletoes Tue Jun 14, 2011 3:52 am

Gracie77 wrote: While I agree with your parenting tips, as a co-sleeping, breastfeeding Mommy of two beautiful baby boys (I have been a milk bar for almost 4 yrs, NON-STOP!), I respectfully disagree with your no co-sleeping rule. There have been multiple studies done that suggest that co-sleeping actually prevents SIDS. It has to do with the fact that small babies do not have the ability to regulate their body tempature and breathing (Dr. Sears has a great article explaining this on Kellymom.com), sleeping with Mommy helps baby to do this. Co-sleeping is only dangerous when done irresponsibly! That being said, there are a couple of precautions to take and rules to follow. There are bassinets that actually ATTATCH to Mom's bed that are made specifically for co-sleeping. I use an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper. It secures to the bed which is important because if there is ANY space (even an inch) there is potential for baby to fall between bed and bassinet and suffocate! NEVER use a bassinet on wheels or one that is not made specifically for co-sleeping. What I like about the co-sleeper is that the side that is against the bed has a retractable rail. It allows me to co-sleep with my baby safely, giving baby his own sleeping area and I don't have to get out of bed to breastfeed! When breastfeeding every hour or so, it's a Godsend! Just scoop baby up, feed and then place him back in the co-sleeper when done. Also, there are bassinet's that are made for the middle of Mom and Dad's bed! Sleep positioners that are also made just for co-sleeping are usefull also! Some parents don't want to put their baby in a crib after being inside of them for 10 months, I am one of the Mommy's that feel much more secure having my baby next to me while sleeping. There is absolutely nothing wrong with co-sleeping when done correctly! Just as with all things, it is our responsibility to do what is best for baby and to keep baby safe. There are plenty of SAFE options when it comes to co-sleeping, if one wants to co-sleep and takes the proper precautions, there is nothing wrong with it and, in my opinion it becomes even more safe then putting baby in a crib. I agree 100% that one should NEVER just stick baby next to you in bed without a co-sleeper/positioner, especially before baby can lift it's head on it's own. Also, another important rule to follow is while breastfeeding when taking pain medication (contrary to popular belief, it is perfectly safe to BF while taking pain medication), such as after C-section, NEVER lay down to feed. Pain medication tends to make Moms drowsy and as a result we may become heavily sedated, especially when already exausted. Always sit up to breastfeed if medicated or extremely tired as a precaution, better safe then sorry! How to Properly Parent an Infant 58290
How to Properly Parent an Infant 58290 Hi Gracie. Thanks for your input. How to Properly Parent an Infant 616541

We recently had 2 babies die in our town within hours of each other. In two unrelated events, the babies were smothered by their parent with whom they were sleeping.

There have also been studies that show co-sleeping to be a cause of SIDS. Experts suspect these deaths were actually from smothering, not SIDS.

It has proven to be a deadly practice.

An attached bassinet is a different story entirely.
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Post by twinkletoes Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:57 pm

Child safety makes the local news

Florida Researchers Review Sleep-Related Infant Deaths


June 8, 2011 - Florida - Researchers in Florida who have been reviewing records of infant deaths believe more of these tragic deaths may have been related to unsafe sleeping habits than previously believed. According to a report at the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, researchers at Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies in Broward County believe many infant deaths can be prevented if parents followed safe sleeping habits.

Recent statistics show that 1 in 5 infant deaths are sleep-related. However, a nurse from Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies recently reviewed 45 infant deaths since 2009 and discovered that many of these deaths were incorrectly labeled, even though they were related to unsafe sleep. Her revised statistics show that 1 in 3 infant deaths may be sleep-related.

The organization is now doing a much larger review of infant deaths to see if these statistics hold true on a wider basis. The medical examiner for Broward County believes that up to 40% of infant deaths -- and there were more than 1,500 in Florida alone in 2009 -- could have been prevented.

Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies urges parents to resist the urge to co-sleep
, or sleep in the same bed with their baby. Parents can unintentionally smother their child when they roll over, or an infant can suffocate against large comforters or pillows. Babies should also sleep on their backs in a safety-approved crib, according to health experts.
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