BULLYING and similar stories

The New Teen Age

How teens navigate this I-self world.
by Kathryn Stamoulis, Ph.D.There is not much parents can do to prevent their child from becoming the victim of bullying. 15-25% percent of students report being bullied with some frequency. Often victims are chosen for reasons outside of their control, such as physical appearance, disability, sexual orientation, perceived sexual orientation, actual or perceived sexual expression, jealously, and on and on. The effects of being bullied include a negative impact on academics, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. The rash of suicides of bullying victims reported by the media recently highlight the importance of providing support and care to those who are bullied. The following seven tips can help:
1. Know the signs. Torn clothing, missing belongings, insomnia, anxiety, stomachaches, headaches and moodiness, sadness or tearfulness when leaving or coming home from school are signs that your teen may be the victim of bullying. If you recognize any of these signs, talk to your child and let them know you are concerned.
2. Talk about sex. 81% of teen girls report having been the victim of sexual harassment at school and 40% of teen girls report that a sexual rumor has been spread about them. Sexual harassment and slut bashing work to quickly degrade and shame its victim. If sex and human sexuality is treated as a taboo subject in the home and never discussed outright and openly, your teen may be reluctant to discuss the sexual harassment they are subjected to out of fear of embarrassment or disapproval. However, if a precedent is set that home is a safe place to talk about sex, your teen may be more likely to tell you if they become the victim of bullying of a sexual nature.
3. Combat homophobia. Three quarters of teenagers are exposed to derogatory and homophobic slurs regularly at school. Given the fact that over one third of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) teens have reported being threatened or injured in school in the last year due to their sexual orientation, it is not shocking that they are two to three times more likely to commit suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. Even the mere perception of being gay or homosexual can lead to bullying. For every LGBT teen victim of bullying, four more victims are bullied because others perceive them as "acting" gay. A 2009 survey from San Francisco University found that supportive families serve as a protective factor against suicide and other mental health issues in gay youth. Gay teens with little to no family support were significantly more likely to use drugs, have depression and attempt suicide.
4. Explore social opportunities outside of school. A 2007 study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that teens subjected to bullying had lower levels of anxiety when they had peer support. If your child does not have adequate social support in school, provide them with an opportunity to make friends outside of school. Religious groups, music lessons, art classes, support groups and regional sporting activities can be such an avenue for making valuable friendships outside of school.
5. Find a mentor. While parents are usually the most influential "mentor" in a child's life, teens often don't want to confide in their parents. Be willing to step aside and allow another person take on the "mentor" role if you don't think your child will open up to you. Even if your child does open up to you, an older cousin or trusted family friend can serve as an additional source of encouragement and support.
6. Use the web. Itgetsbetterproject.com is a website primarily geared towards LGBT youth who are the victims of bullying and cannot envision a happy adulthood. Thousands of people, including celebrities, have posted videos on the site to share their own personal experiences and support for teen victims of bullying. At this site, teens receive the message that the pain of high school can subside over time and there is happiness after bullying.
7. Encourage counseling. For many teens, the shame surrounding bullying makes it extremely difficult to reach out for help. Isolation can worsen the anxiety, depression and poor self-esteem associated with the victims of bullying. A trained professional can provide a safe environment for teens to talk and can help alleviate the psychological effects of bullying.

A group of students attending a summer camp in Michigan learned some unusual skills. They found out how to stop bullying behavior, including their own.
They are among a growing number of teens who are learning to be part of the solution to bullying by forming Stop Bullying Task Forces. The teen task force approach was developed by Hey U.G.L.Y. (Unique, Gifted, Lovable You). The nonprofit organization is dedicated to empowering young people ages 9 to 19 to counter issues such as bullying through self-esteem building programs.
Dalia Vitkus, an MA in Criminal Justice and counselor for the Lithuanian Sea Scouts works with 15- and 16-year-old girls. She initiated Hey U.G.L.Y.’s Stop Bullying Task Force Program with her group at summer camp and was amazed to see how quickly the girls were able to apply their new anti-bullying skills.
There was a bullying situation occurring with the younger girls at camp explained Vitkus. The 10- and 11-year-old girls were picking on others, being mean and unfriendly. One of the young girls was even brought to tears. My newly formed Stop Bullying Task Force presented a one-hour session of what they had learned about bullying to the young girls. The bullying stopped and they are now able to help their peers see that bullying is not cool
In another incident at camp, a Stop Bullying Task Force member named Vicky stood up to some boys who were being disrespectful to adult leaders, and his behavior was beginning to spread. According to Vitkus, the boys, surprised that one of their peers was standing up to them, listened to Vicky, changed their behavior, and everyone was able to relax and enjoy the gathering.
She was so excited to tell me how it worked said Vitkus. It was something she had ownership of
After completing Hey U.G.L.Y.’s three-hour Stop Bullying program, Vicky said it taught her that everyone is different and that’s okay. She is more aware of not using her first impressions to judge people.
How we differentiate ourselves among others is really the way we connect Vicky said. All of our unique qualities are what bring us together, and makes us friends in the end
Vicky said her Hey U.G.L.Y. Stop Bullying Task Force talked to the younger girls about how they were all sisters and needed to respect each other. They taught the younger girls about the importance of teamwork and kindness in a group.
After playing some fun team building games, you could see a massive improvement with the girls’ attitudes towards one another Vicky said.
Vitkus’ task force, who named themselves Keepers of the Baltic and all other task forces who complete Hey U.G.L.Y’s program become certified to teach younger kids and conduct stop bullying presentations. They also receive a copy of the Stop Bullying Handbook, a T-shirt, certificate and office Stop Bullying Membership Card.
Betty Hoeffner, co-founder and president of Hey, U.G.L.Y., partnered with students and teachers to create the Hey, Stop Bullying Emotional Learning Activity Plan (ELAP) that Vitkus used to facilitate the training. Hoeffner and her founding task force created National Stop Bullying Day which is celebrated annually on the second Wednesday of February according to Chases Calendar of Events.
The easy-to-use and quickly assimilated program was designed to give teens a voice against bullying. It’s been successful because students teach each other how to stop bullying and give each other courage to be part of the solution.
The teens empower themselves to take action against bullies, whether they are the victim or they see someone else being victimized said Hoeffner who is the author of the Stop Bullying Handbook. They also are able to curb their own bullying and self-bullying behaviors while learning what to do if they see bullying happen to someone else
According to parenting expert, Dr. Michele Bora, On a school campus we know there’s about 85% of kids we call bystanders. They’re the missing link, the silent majority
To address that issue Hey U.G.L.Y. as launched www.bullyingbystandersunite.org to help those students know what to do.
Bullying among kids is nothing new, but Hoeffner said it has grown into one of the most critical issues facing students at all grade levels throughout the nation. She cites a CDC report that shows 864,000 students staying home one day a month because they fear for their safety. Another national survey of students in grades 6-10 shows 13 percent reported bullying others and 11 percent reported being the target of bullies.
Bullying can take the form of name calling, pushing, and dirty looks, fighting and spreading rumors. Experts say the facts are troubling, because bullying too often leads to violence, loss of self-esteem, depression and even suicide.
No one understands the critical need to stop bullying more than Hoeffner who almost lost a teen to suicide.
Not only are the bullied suffering, but also the bullies explained Hoeffner. We designed our program to help both self-discover ways to feel good about themselves and each other
I believe that by providing kids the opportunity to experience the Hey U.G.L.Y. Stop Bullying Program, they can be empowered to respect others and make better choices noted Vitkus. This program can work as a tool to prevent kids from seeking crime and becoming entangled within the Juvenile Criminal Justice System. I really see it spreading. The more task forces there are, the more the older kids will share with those younger
The Hey, Stop Bullying Empathy Learning Activity Plan is available to schools and youth serving organizations across the country at www.heyugly4educators.org.

Bracelets for Rhianna and the push for a new law

Published: 9/27 9:06 pm


Wichita, Kansas - 14-year-old Rhianna Lynn Morawitz committed suicide last week after family members say she was bullied by kids for years. Now there's a move to get "Rhianna's Law" passed.

"We definitely want to send a message that the bullying has to stop," says Parent Tosha Cook. "Too many kids are slipping through the cracks. Too many kids are still getting bullied. I think Kansas just needs to find a way to make somebody more accountable for it."

Tosha is one of several parents going after lawmakers to pass a law to make bullying a serious crime.

"The letter writing campaign will begin the first of next month," explains Cook. "We are asking people to write their representatives."

Cook and others are also printing purple bracelets. The bracelets will say "RIP Rhianna Lynn Morawitz. Stop Bullying. Save a Life."

"It's the right thing to do," says Christopher Maddox with C&C Automotive. C&C is donating all the money to get the bracelets printed.

Maddox and C&C Automotive are not alone. So far about 120 parents have pledged to also write to their lawmakers about bullying.

"We are pushing for the bracelets first," says Cook. "We have to get kids to realize that suicide is not the answer. It always gets better. Nothing in life is worth taking your life. Still, kids need to stop the bullying."

You can click here to find Rhianna's Law on Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rhiannas-LAW/237441602970691

http://www.ksn.com/news/local/story/Bracelets-for-Rhianna-and-the-push-for-a-new-law/Y57-DRzD1Uqcr_cMc8vfug.cspx

Poll: Majority Of Young Adults Harassed Online

By Doug GrossCNN
POSTED: 5:45 pm EDT September 27, 2011

(CNN) -- More than half of all teens and young adults say they have been bullied or harassed online, according to the results of a new poll on Internet behavior.
In an Associated Press/MTV poll, 56 percent of respondents, who were between 14 and 24 years old, said they had "experienced abuse" through digital media.
That's up from 50 percent in a similar 2009 survey.
Some of the most common forms of harassment include posting something online that's not true, writing things online that are "mean" and sharing texts or other messages that were meant to stay private, according to the results.
And while the ability to stay anonymous online is often cited as a reason why digital bullying can get so bad, survey respondents said that, more often than not, that's not the case.
"Most say the perpetrators of the bad behavior are people they know very well," the survey reads.
One out of three resopndents also said they've taken part in so-called "sexting," which includes sending and receiving nude photos or video or sexually charged text. Seventy-one percent of them said that "sexting" is a problem for Web users their age.
Ten percent of respondents who said they'd exchanged sexual messages said they'd done so with people they only know online -- a steep drop from the 29 percent who said they'd done so in 2009.
If there's a bright spot, it's that more respondents this year said they recognize online bullying as a problem than did two years ago and more said they'd intervene if they saw it happening.
Fifty-six percent said they would likely intervene if they saw someone being harassed online, compared with 47 percent in 2009.
The survey is part of MTV's "A Thin LIne," campaign, a multiyear effort to stamp out digital abuse.
"The campaign is built on the understanding that there's a 'thin line' between what may begin as a harmless joke and something that could end up having a serious impact on you or someone else," MTV writes on the campaign's website. "We know no generation has ever had to deal with this, so we want to partner with you to help figure it out."
The survey results were based on interviews of 1,355 teens and young adults conducted between August 18-31. It has a margin of error of 3.8 percent.

Read more: http://www.wesh.com/family/29319974/detail.html#ixzz1ZG1CIYjW

Kids who are bullied by any one regardless if it is via computer or face to face can experience the effects of daytoday
abuse. When bullying continues over a long period of time there are
going to be some physical as well as some emotional effects. Some of the
most common effects of cyber bullying may be loss of selfesteem. A child who once had a healthy level of selfesteem
may have that level shattered by someone who has gotten to them. They
may become increasing frustrated, angry and they may become withdrawn as
well.


Victims of cyber bullying may become depressed and isolated; if you
notice this in your child then you have to address it right away. Most
children think that they can handle cyber bullying but the more your
child has to deal with it the more side effects may emerge. Victims who
once loved to go shopping or play sports with their friends have now
avoided socializing all together. You may notice that your child who
once loved going online has stayed away from the computer. This may be a
sign of what is happening.


There are some victims that become so depressed that they believe
that they have no choice and they believe that there is no help that
they think that suicide is the answer. There are two famous cases
involving cyber bullying, the case of Ryan Halligan and Megan Meier.
Cyber bullying is not a joke and authorities are taking it very
seriously.


Teenagers are not the only people who can be targeted by cyber
bullies. Adults can be affected as well. Though you may think that
since these are adults they can handle it better, you would be
surprised. Adults who are cyber bullied often have their jobs, safety
and financial status at risk. Cyber stalking is more geared towards
adults and you would be surprised to know how many adults are actually
victims of cyber stalking.


The motives behind cyber bullying may differ depending on if the
victim is a child or an adult. Some motives include control, conflict of
interest, and money motivated and even romantic, if you can believe it.
The reasons for why people become bullies are many but the goal is to
put a stop to it. Children as well as adults are often embarrassed and
they are too afraid to tell anyone. The effects on people who are
victims of cyber bullying may find it easier to deal with if they just
confide in someone.


If you are a victim of cyber bullying, talk to someone. You can get
help if you confide in someone like a teacher, friend, local Police or a
coworker. These matters can be dealt with a
lot easier when you have some support. For those too embarrassed to ask
for help should get online and find out as much information as you can.
You should not let anyone take anything away from you that will affect
the person you are. If you give over the control then they win.
http://articles.student.com/health-sexuality/general-health-fitness/effects-on-your-child-by-cyber-bullying

Bullying is nothing new. For generations, children everywhere have
faced playground taunts and teasing. In recent years though, the
Internet has taken bullying to a whole new level. With the click of the
mouse, anonymous threats and harassment are instantly sent world-wide.

What Is Cyberbullying?


This new form of childhood torment is called "cyberbullying."
Online harassment of adults happens too, but that's generally known as
cyber-harassment or cyberstalking.

Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying doesn't stop at the
front door. It comes into our homes in e-mail messages, chat rooms, Web
pages and phone text messages. It takes many forms, including:

• Sending direct messages that are mean, vulgar or threatening
  
• Posting a person's private or sensitive information online
  
• Impersonating the victim online to make them look bad
  
• Posting humiliating or degrading photos of the victim online
  
• Attacking the victim with spam or thousands of text messages
  
• Stealing passwords or breaking into the victim's online account
  

Megan Meier Cyberbullying Tragedy


Cyberbullying is particularly ugly when it involves an adult
bullying a child. Take the case of Megan Meier. The 13-year-old Missouri
girl was driven to suicide by an online hoax.

Megan's adult neighbor, Lori Drew, helped impersonate a teen age boy on the social networking site MySpace.
The fake boy drew Megan into an online relationship, which ended with a
fight and the boy telling Megan the world would be better off without
her. A short time later, Megan hung herself.

Computer Fraud and Abuse Act


Public outrage called for the criminal prosecution of Drew for
her involvement in Megan's death. At the time, no Missouri criminal law
applied. So Drew was prosecuted under the federal Computer Fraud and
Abuse Act, a computer theft law, for criminally accessing a computer.

On August 31, a federal judge ruled the law was unconstitutional
and dismissed the charges. The law was too broadly written. It put
anyone who violated a Web site's service agreement at risk of being
charged with a crime.

Making Cyberbullying Criminal


Following Megan's death, Missouri passed a law that made it a felony
for an adult to harass a child through electronic communication. A
person convicted under the law faces up to four years in prison.

Last month, Elizabeth Thrasher was the first person to be charged
under the new law. Thrasher's accused of posting a 17-year-old's photo
and personal information in a Craigslist online ad that suggested the teen was seeking a sexual encounter.

How to Deal with Cyberbullying


The US Dept. of Health and Human Services offers these tips for dealing with a cyberbully:

• 
  Support your child. Listen and empathize with your child
  
• 
  Don't respond to the bully. Encourage your child not to respond or retaliate
  
• 
  Save it. Don't erase the messages and images. You might need them for evidence
  
• 
  Report it. Report bad language or other
  violations of the "Terms and Conditions" of e-mail services and Web
  sites to the service providers
  
• 
  Identify the cyberbully. Ask your Internet
  Service Provider (ISP) to track down the cyberbully. If you think the
  harassment might be criminal, ask the police to help
  
• 
  Block it. You may be able to block the cyberbully's e-mail or cell phone harassment by contacting your service provider
  
• 
  Contact your school. The school must intervene
  if the harassment comes through the district's Internet system.
  Administrators will want to know about the situation even if it occurs
  outside of the school
  
• 
  Consider telling the bully's parents. Contact the bully's parents if you think they might help. Communicate in writing and show them proof of the cyberbullying
  
• 
  Consider contacting an attorney. In serious cases, victims may be able to sue the cyberbully or the bully's parents for the infliction of emotional distress or other personal injuries
  
• 
  Contact the police. If you aren't sure whether
  the cyberbullying is a crime in your situation, call your local police
  and they can advise you. Call the police if it involves:
  
• Threats of violence
  
• Extortion
  
• Obscene or repeated harassing phone calls or text messages
  
• Stalking or hate crimes
  
• Child pornography
  

From name calling to death threats, cyberbullying is very
upsetting for children and parents. Try to keep your emotions in check
so you can carefully determine the best way to help your child.

Questions for Your Attorney

• Could a teenager be charged as an adult under an anti-harassment law, such as Missouri's?
  
• Which is more effective - approaching the parents of a harassing child, or having an attorney write a letter to the parents?
  
• Is it an offense for a child or student who receives harassing
  e-mail messages or postings to respond in kind, as in if someone's
  shoved, there are some who will shove back?
  

http://internet-law.lawyers.com/Bullying-on-the-Cyber-Playground.html

http://www.stopbullying.gov/index.html

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