Laura Buchanan contracts Tighty Syndrome and cancels depo by Val Hall

http://www.thehinkymeter.com/2010/10/12/laura-buchanan-contracts-tighty-syndrome-and-cancels-depo/

Laura Buchanan contracts Tighty Syndrome and cancels depo
Posted on October 12th, 2010 by Valhall
Laura Buchanan, the defense’s key and sole witness so far to refute the standing water that over 20 eye witnesses have attested to being present on Suburban Drive in the late days of August and into September has called in sick the day before her schedule sworn deposition. Sources (most likely unreliable but when Laura Buchanan is concerned who cares, right?) have reported she came down with a severe case of “Tighty Syndrome”. That’s when you realize you’re in a tight spot and you need R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
Laura’s Tighty Syndrome apparently kicked in several months ago when prosecutors had the audacity to want to question her about her unsupported story that she and a band of rogue TES searchers went to Suburban Drive on September 3rd in spite of the fact the only documents released to date show that Laura was with a TES search group at Jay Blanchard Park. The syndrome went viral when it was reported that Laura had documents – which the investigators started looking into whether she may have falsified – to try and “prove” her and the unnamed TES searchers were, in fact, on Suburban on the date in question.
Medical experts have stated there are only two sources of Tighty Syndrome: 1. coming under extreme duress due to being caught in a lie, and 2. working with fish. Either way, medical experts claim there is always something “fishy” involved to trigger the condition. Poor Laura appears to have at least 2 strikes against her. The good news is she may be eligible for worker’s compensation from her “dept. of fish” job that she apparently held prior to moving. Symptoms include nausea, extreme jitters that can lead to anxiety attacks, and an overall feeling of being full of crap. Colonic irrigation has indicated relief.