Raising Awareness of boyfriends' murdering children - blog here for ideas, please

kiwimom wrote:After doing a little bit of internet research combined with a bit of common sense I've come up with the following action plan that I feel will have a tiny bit of impact on the rate of teen pregnancies, while at the same time attacking the issue of appropriate child care for babies for those teens that go ahead and try to raise their babies. Even if we only save one child, it will be well worth our effort. Here I am going to talk about what can be done to stop teen pregnancies , because I'm wanting to focus on the 1/3rd who choose to keep and raise the baby themselves.

From my research, and intuition I believe that the majority of young girls get pregnant because they believe that they are in love and the boy loves them too. When a female child was raised without a stable loving environment they will be too needy to be able to judge the boys genuinely interested in them from the boys who just want to sleep with them. Boys will say "I love you" at the drop of a hat to get into bed and the young girls who have craved love all their lives will view the act of sex as a sign of love. I believe female children raised without a father are more likely to be among this category. This type of teen are, Imo, the most likely to want to take the pregnancy to full term.

There are 3 basic problems that need to be addressed IMO.

1. Young girls need to be made aware that boys will make declarations of love just to have sex.

2. Young boys and girls need to be made aware of the real risk of getting pregnant if no birth control is used. There is an urgent need to counteract the teen mentality of 'it won't happen to me' with the fact that if you have unprotected sex 90% of girls will get pregnant in the first 12 months. It's about 25% in the first month.

3. Only 5% of young persons faced with an unplanned pregnancy choose adoption and I believe that doctors and frontline people dealing with the situation have a lot to do with this statistic. A young girl presenting to a doctor with an unwanted pregnancy is usually advised of the option of abortion or the help available should they choose to keep the baby. As a young person they have no knowledge that couples are out there waiting to provide a loving home to a baby and that they can be involved if they choose to. Doctors and other agencies that deal with unplanned pregnancies should by law have to ensure that the pregnant girl is fully educated about this option as it is the best option for the baby and what is best for the baby is absolutely the most important consideration.

The best place to get the message across to these kids is at school, and before they encounter the issues. At seen in the stats above, less than one third of pregnant teens finish high school. We have the blind raising the blind and with ignorant parents the cycle will continue. America has an appalling rate compared to other similar countries with teen pregnancies and I have no doubt this is because
talking about birth control is mostly outlawed and only abstinence is allowed to be discussed at school. To all those who wish continue to take the religious or moral high ground on this matter I ask if sticking to your ideals are more important than a child condemned to the misery of abuse and death.

I propose that we make our posters to be displayed in whatever appropriate place we can, but to make a real difference I propose that we aim to get mandatory education in schools about this issue. We may have to do it State by State and we may have to do it school by school but we have to try. If we can come up with an education package that we can present and get just one school to adopt it then we'll start the ball rolling. We just need one school with pretty bad stats to agree to try something new and link up with us and see if it makes a difference. We can get them involved with our site here, give the kids a thread to voice their concerns and opinions, and engage them to help us try to stem the tide. We need to connect with them if we are to truly understand why it's happening, and what we can do to help them. We could start by teaming up with a school to enlist the kids to put up our posters and take it from there.

Great ideas...I know that here in florida it is very difficult to go into the schools and talk about contraception, since florida has an abstinence based program in their schools. I know cause in the 1990's I did HIV/education in the high schools and I was very limited as to what I could talk about...After 5 years of doing the program the school district decided that it was not appropriate to talk about condoms in the classroom...can you FF believe that???? So what has happened since then, the teen rate of hiv/aids has gone up because we could not get to every teen out there...Stats are very high in teens of African americans/hispanics. Even though your stats show that african american teens are not getting pregnant as fast, they are getting HIV.....so somehow we have to incorporate both. Still thinking...this will be a process with everyone we know in every state gearing up to help. thanks for all your information.....

A rise in teenage pregnancy also raises concerns

in

• Sex Education
  
• teen pregnancy
  

Manatee County officials reconsider abstinence-only approach to sex education
January 25, 2010, Sarasota Herald-Tribune
Almost 500 babies were born to Manatee County teenagers in 2008, one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Florida.
Staff at the school district's day care look after almost 90 babies while their teenage moms take classes. Another 43 students are pregnant.
Teachers report that some students no longer feel there is any stigma attached to pregnancy among students.
Promoting abstinence has long been the focus of Manatee's sex education curriculum. But faced with high teenage pregnancy rates, some School Board members are openly questioning whether the approach should be changed.

The problem seems to be exacerbating rather than diminishing," said School Board member Harry Kinnan. "Obviously in this day and time, it seems as if we may need to use other initiatives in addition to abstinence only."
Manatee's teenage birth rate in 2008 was 56 births per 1,000 females ages 15 to 19, well above the state average of 40. By contrast, neighboring Sarasota County has 30 births per 1,000, according to the Florida Department of Health.
District officials are particularly alarmed that the number of middle school girls who are now mothers or pregnant is 14, up from four this time last year.
Officials have formed a task force to address the issue and are also evaluating teenage-pregnancy prevention programs recommended by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies.
"Abstinence is obviously the most effective way to prevent pregnancies," said School Board member Bob Gause. "Is it working by itself? It doesn't appear to be."
State law requires schools to promote abstinence as the "expected standard" but allows teachers to talk about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases.
School districts have brought their own interpretation to the law with some, like Flagler County, prohibiting the teaching of anything other than abstinence.
Other districts, including Sarasota until 2004, allow groups like Planned Parenthood to speak to students.
Any change from its focus on abstinence would be a major shift for Manatee County, where the approach has long been favored.
The Manatee School Board banned Planned Parenthood from its schools in the early 1990s.
Instead, students there hear speakers from Carenet, a Christian nonprofit group that promotes abstinence and "the sanctity of human life," according to its Web site.
Teenage pregnancy is not a problem just in Manatee. With almost 50,000 teenagers becoming pregnant each year, Florida has the nation's sixth highest rate.
Other school districts across Florida have also begun to reconsider how they teach sex education.
Last week the Collier County School Board approved a change in curriculum to include contraception in its sex education curriculum.
Manatee students are taught sex education by health and physical education teachers. While students are taught about contraceptives, they are not given an in-depth education on their use.
"Some other schools in other districts do a very comprehensive contraception education," said Jennifer Gilray, assistant principal at Braden River High School and a former health teacher. "We are an abstinence course -- that's what we teach about."
School districts across Florida may also soon have a financial incentive to move away from an abstinence-based curriculum.
President Barack Obama has requested $164 million from Congress for a new teenage-pregnancy prevention initiative. The plan drastically cuts funding for abstinence-based programs while setting aside $50 million in competitive grants for programs that, according to research, delay sexual activity in teenagers and increase the use of contraceptives.
Manatee school officials and some lawmakers fear that unless the state law mandating promotion of abstinence is changed, Florida school districts may not qualify for those grants.
But any change to promote more use of birth control is likely to be fiercely opposed by some who see that as a green light for teenagers to have sex.
"They are implying that anything and everything is OK," said Carenet Manasota Executive Director Shirley Baucom. "As a Christian ministry, we don't agree with that."
With an election year looming for three of its five members, the Board is likely to seek public support before making any changes to sex education.
"It will take a lot of discussion, listening to the community and looking at the data," said School Board member Walter Miller.

(All RED by me)....Obviously the system is broken....

http://www.floridaplannedparenthood.org/news/a-rise-in-teenage-pregnancy-also-raises-concerns

May 1, 2010 is the National day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.....Take the quiz....

http://www.stayteen.org/quiz/

This is a good site....we can target also.....

I found this article by Tampa Bay Online it's from last year....But if you look at the stats mostly were the mother's who killed their babies...so we have a little bit of a conflict...we just cant label our posters geared towards boyfriends, cause mother's are the number one killers of babies....JMO


Published: May 15, 2009




TAMPA - A year ago this month, Michael Reid was watching TV when his 17-year-old girlfriend's infant son began to cry.
Home alone with the baby, Reid, 27, told authorities he removed the 6-month-old from his crib and tried to comfort him, but nothing seemed to work. He grabbed the baby around the waist and shook him back and forth before dropping him onto a pillow.
The baby stopped crying, but only for a few seconds. Frustrated, Reid picked him up again and walked outside, thrusting the tiny face into his shoulder while bouncing the boy up and down.
When Reid went back into the house, he covered the baby's mouth. But nothing could quell the crying. So Reid head-butted the infant with so much force, he told Polk County sheriff's deputies, that his head hurt, too.
Finally, the baby fell asleep. Miraculously, he survived. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen, his nose likely broken. When his mother returned home, she rushed him to the hospital, where doctors confirmed he had been abused. Reid denied it.
Eleven months later, out on bail and awaiting trial on child abuse charges, Reid again would be entrusted with the care of a girlfriend's infant son.
This time, the baby, 4-month-old Jeremiah Shaneyfelt of Kissimmee, died.
Boyfriends killing their girlfriends' children has become so prevalent, a state committee and at least one child welfare advocate are tracking such deaths locally. They hope to use their findings to better educate caseworkers and the public and ultimately keep children alive.
In the past six years, mothers' boyfriends were accused in the deaths of 13 children in Hillsborough, Pasco and Pinellas counties. The most recent - that of little Emanuel Wesley Murray, thrown from a car on Interstate 275 in Tampa - especially horrified the public. But the cases have a lot in common. The men typically are 18 and 30, unemployed with little education and saddled with criminal records that include substance abuse or domestic violence.
Often, they are the caregivers for children whose mothers work or go to school. They have no emotional connection to the child and usually don't know how to soothe a crying baby or understand why it's dangerous to shake an infant. And they almost always lie at first about how a child was injured.
"This is really such a troubling area," said Manatee County sheriff's Maj. Connie Shingledecker, chairwoman of the Florida Child Abuse Death Review Committee.
The group publishes an annual report that helps lawmakers and child advocates identify preventable deaths. In 2008, members reviewed 163 deaths that occurred in 2007.
Of the 241 perpetrators, 119 were the mother; 54, the father; 19, a grandparent; and 13, a boyfriend.
The majority of the children were white infant boys. Forty-five died of physical abuse with more than half of them suffering head injuries. Most had never been involved with state supervision before their deaths.
Moms were responsible for the majority of neglect fatalities, such as drowning, but the committee also found mothers failed to protect their children from male abusers.
"Many mothers were aware of the abuse occurring yet left their child in the care of the abuser," the committee wrote.
Crying among common abuse triggers
"There continues to be an alarming number of infant and toddler homicides that are attributed to common triggers and risk factors for physical abuse," members wrote. "Crying, toilet training and feeding are the most common triggers."
There's a need, advocates say, for more public education and increased services for single moms, who often feel they have no choice but to leave their children with a boyfriend - usually a fairly new one.
In the recent case of Jeremiah Shaneyfelt, his 25-year-old mother had dated Reid only a few months when she went to work at Publix and left him to babysit her son, her grandfather said.
Dale Shaneyfelt, a 74-year-old retired mechanic, remembers that day. It was the last time he saw his first great-grandchild alive.
"I was so proud of him," Shaneyfelt said. "That baby was so smart."
He left the trailer he and his wife shared with Jeremiah and his mom, and told Reid: "Now take care of my little man."
A few hours later on April 3, his granddaughter called frantic and told him Jeremiah was in the hospital. Doctors said the infant had severe head trauma. He died the next day.
Overall nationally, biological fathers still account for the majority of child abuse deaths - about 31 percent, said Don Dixon, chief operating officer for The Children's Board of Hillsborough County. But with 26 percent of such deaths attributed to mothers' boyfriends, they are "particularly lethal."
A 24-year veteran of the Department of Children & Families, Dixon has begun researching the topic for his doctorate in social work at the University of South Florida. He hopes to publish his findings and use them to better train caseworkers to spot warning signs and intervene before a child is hurt or killed.
'Window of opportunity'
"Most deaths don't occur on the first abuse incident," Dixon said. "So we have a window of opportunity."
That's when a caseworker can swoop in and refer moms to shelters or other services. Background checks can be done on boyfriends. If there are problems, children can be removed as a last resort.
That did not happen in the case of 3-month-old Emanuel Murray, whose 17-year-old mother declined to go to a shelter. But caseworkers persuaded her to file for a restraining order and an injunction against her ex-boyfriend, Richard McTear Jr. The baby died before authorities served McTear with a subpoena for the injunction hearing.
Hillsborough Kids Inc., a private agency that provides local foster care oversight for DCF, formed a task force last year with the Family Justice Center to train workers on indentifying dangerous behaviors such as domestic violence tendencies.
DCF Secretary George Sheldon also wants to add mental health issues to that training, but he admitted it's not enough to refer women to domestic violence shelters and mental health facilities.
He plans to call for more stringent background checks for anyone visiting the home of a child or family being supervised by the state. He also would like to see a public service announcement campaign reminding residents of their obligations.
"You can't live two doors down" and not report violence, Sheldon said. "You've got to say, 'This is my responsibility, too.'"
But if most of the children who die have not had contact with DCF, lawmakers must look at implementing programs for women in the open market, Dixon said.
"Maybe a policy change in this state to offer child care to mothers who use boyfriends as babysitters," he said. "Something that would cost little to nothing for them."
That's a tough item to drum up money for in such a tight economy, Dixon acknowledged. But someone in Tallahassee needs to decide: "Do we value these kids enough to value at least a share of the costs?
"Something as simple as that as an intervention could possibly save hundreds of lives."
VIOLENT BOYFRIENDS
May 5 - Richard Anthony McTear Jr., 21, of Tampa, is accused of throwing his girlfriend's 3-month-old son from a car window while traveling southbound on Interstate 275. McTear is jailed on charges of first-degree murder, aggravated child abuse, kidnapping, felony battery and burglary with battery.
April 28 - In Tampa, Angel Robles, 25, is accused of killing his live-in girlfriend's 11-month-old son, Isiah Ian McGuire. Robles is charged with first-degree murder, aggravated child abuse and sexual battery on the child. Examiners determined Isiah died from multiple internal injuries and trauma to the head.
April 23 - Police say Alfredo Hudson, 21, confessed that he violently shook his girlfriend's 9-month-old daughter, Naomi Petit-Homme, at their Bradenton home. Hudson is charged with first-degree murder.
April 7 - Michael Joseph Reid, 27, a Polk County man, is charged with first-degree murder in the death of his girlfriend's 4-month-old son in Osceola County. In May 2008, Reid was arrested on child abuse charges involving injuries to a different girlfriend's 6-month-old son in Lake Wales. Investigators said the baby was shaken and head-butted. Reid is free on bail awaiting trial in the Polk case.
March 8 - Kenneth Lopez, 21, allegedly beats to death his live-in girlfriend's 2-year-old daughter, Gabrielle Randel, because she would not stop crying in their Tampa home. When Gabrielle didn't go to sleep easily, Lopez allegedly picked her up, wrapped her in a towel and began beating her. Lopez is charged with first-degree murder.
Sept. 5, 2008 - Robert Bradwell, 36, is charged with first-degree murder in the death of his girlfriend's 2-year-old daughter, Makaila Thompson, at their Tampa apartment. Bradwell claimed the child fell into the bathtub while he was outside drinking beer and smoking marijuana with friends, but an autopsy determined Makaila had been beaten.
May 12, 2008 - The bodies of Lisa Freiberg, 26, and her children Zachary, 7, and Savannah, 2, are found dead in their Lutz home. Freiberg's live-in boyfriend, Edward Allen Covington, 35 is accused of choking, beating, stabbing, dismembering and mutilating the family, along with the family dog.
Tribune research by Michael Messano; Source: Tribune archives and wires

Researchers Michael Messano and Stephanie Pincus contributed to this report. Reporter Sherri Ackerman can be reached at (813) 259-7144., boyfriends and bad tempers: A deadly mix

Tears, I love your idea about FB. I was thinking the very same thing over the weekend....What should we call the page?

Admin wrote:Tears, I love your idea about FB. I was thinking the very same thing over the weekend....What should we call the page?

Still trying to figure what's a good name that would be catchy but not critical....Let's see what kiwi thinks...she has good ideas too...anything you can think of!!!

Admin, I've been looking thru FB and I founnd this site, it's called "people against beating kids" they have over 506,000 members...take a look when you have a minute....

we need a name that POPS OUT, that will bring any teen,young mother or boyfriend to the page. still trying....

tears4caylee wrote:Admin, I've been looking thru FB and I founnd this site, it's called "people against beating kids" they have over 506,000 members...take a look when you have a minute....

we need a name that POPS OUT, that will bring any teen,young mother or boyfriend to the page. still trying....

It's going to be hard to find a name that kids will go to. I'm still trying to wrack my brains. We may have to have 1/2 a dozen FB pages and see what works We need to ask some kids about it IMO.

A teen I know suggested "Think about the risk before you stick"

momgot2kids wrote:A teen I know suggested "Think about the risk before you stick"

Stick????????? Is that what they call it these days? I was thinking of "So you wanna be a baby mama?" Or how about "Paris or Pregnant"? Geez, in my day we wanted to travel

LILLY HARDEN - 2 yo - Okeechobee FL


by TomTerrific0420
Yesterday at 1:09 pmDetectives in Okeechobee said a
2-year-old
suffering from shaken baby syndrome was abused by her
mother's live-in
boyfriend, and the mother did nothing about
it.Deputy Sarah Green
went to the home in the 200 block of North
Highway 98 for a welfare
check on a child on April 21.Against the
wishes of the adults in
the home, police said, Green examined
2-year-old Lilly Harden and found
bruises covering the girl's head
and neck.Lilly wasn't
responsive, so Green immediately called for
Emergency Medical Services
against the wishes of the child’s mother,
police said.Okeechobee
County Fire and Rescue responded and
determined that the child was in
very serious condition with severe
brain trauma and a broken arm.The
child was airlifted to St. Mary’s
Medical Center in Palm Beach County,
where she remained in the
hospital's pediatric intensive care unit
Friday night. Police said
Lilly is slowly recovering but not out of
danger yet.
Investigators
said a medical examination showed that the child suffered
from
shaken baby syndrome. They said there was brain damage, but the
extent
of damage has yet to be determined.Since the discovery of
the
child’s injuries, detectives said they have been doggedly
investigating
the matter. Through the investigation, police said it was
determined
that Amanda Lynn Ashby-Harden's live-in boyfriend, John T.
Coleman,
caused the injuries to the child.The child’s mother left
the child
with her live-in- boyfriend of fewer than six months while
she was
at work, police said.The mother said she saw that the
child was
bruised, but police said she had been attempting to hide the
abuse
by not taking the child for medical treatment.Police said
Lilly had
been in her bed for at least a day needing medical care and
not
receiving it.The mother was aware of previous abuse to the
child and
did nothing to prevent further abuse, police said.The
two were
arrested Thursday night, police said, once sufficient evidence
was
obtained to secure a conviction.Ashby-Harden, 28, has been
charged
with child neglect. Coleman, 26, has been charged with child
neglect
and aggravated child abuse.Officials with the Department
of
Children and Family Services also removed the victim's siblings from
the
home on the same night that the crime was discovered.
I could have picked any number of posts to move over here with the same scenario. IMO we do need to try to find out what it is about a mother with children, probably with a bunch of different baby daddies,(not saying that is the case in this instance) that a man would find attractive enough to want to live with and babysit for her brood day in and day out. They do need to get the message that they are placing the children at risk as well as themselves by taking this on. If we could find out why they don't just go and find a girlfriend without children we may find a way to deter it. We know what the mother gets out of it. She gets a free babysitter but it seems like the benefits are all hers.

Boyfriend baby-sitters are common child abusers

9:11 PM, Jun 4, 2012
Written by Dr. Sandra Herr, Special to The Courier-Journal

Enter the words “boyfriend” and “child abuse” in any Internet search engine and you will find hundreds of stories detailing serious and permanent injuries and deaths of children at the hands of unrelated caregivers.

Of the nearly 2,000 deaths attributed to abuse each year in the U.S., approximately one-third are caused by a boyfriend of the child’s mother. Reviews of injuries and deaths in young children have shown that the risk of dying as a result of child abuse is up to 50 times higher in children living in a single-parent home with an unrelated adult caregiver — 80 percent of these were at the hands of the mom’s boyfriend. The problem crosses all of the usual boundaries of race, class, education level and community. This information has been known and reinforced in numerous studies and reviews over the past several decades, yet little education is provided to single mothers regarding this significant risk to their infants and young children, and no real attempts have been made to inform and educate the boys and men who are the eventual perpetrators.

Why does this abuse occur at such an alarming rate? While we rarely if ever get real insight into the underlying cause of these events, some recurring themes are involved.

These men have no parental bond with these children; there has not been nine months of anticipation and preparation, or months of watching them grow and develop, or years of helping them get dressed and caring for their scrapes and bruises.

They may or may not have chosen to be caring for a child at this point in their life, and the time, attention and affection that may otherwise be given to the boyfriend are monopolized by the young child. This child is also the product of a former relationship, which may be a source of jealousy, anger and resentment.

In many of these situations, unrealistic expectations are placed on the child, and when crying, toilet training accidents, or other common childhood behaviors occur, this unprepared caregiver does not know how to cope. While expectant and new moms receive a lot of information and education, including specific education on dealing with crying and other childhood behaviors and the life-threatening risks of shaking a baby, this surrogate father has received none.

If we reached out to adolescent and young adult men and provided them with this information, would some of them be able and willing to recognize the risks when they found themselves in this type of situation? If even one man chose to change the situation, wouldn’t it be worth it?

And what about the mothers of these victims? While we warn and educate them about the dangers of shaking a baby, no one ever mentions that her future new boyfriend may be the greatest risk of all. Does she know the warning signs? Behaviors in the child, such as unusually withdrawn or fearful behavior around a caregiver, may indicate that they are being victimized. Unexplained or unusual injuries, such as patterned bruises and burns; bruises to the ears, neck, abdomen or genitals; serious injuries after no known trauma or reported minor trauma; or any injuries in a young infant may be signs that abuse is occurring. Previous violent behavior, a violent temper, aggressive or violent behavior toward her, or angry responses to crying and other normal childhood behavior may predict violence.

Does she know that abuse is rarely a single event, and that it will continue and escalate over time? Once she witnesses abuse or recognizes the warning signs, does she remove the child from the situation, or hope that it will just go away? We have not provided these mothers with the information they need to protect their children. If even one mother heard this information and made more careful decisions regarding who she allowed around her child, or chose to change the situation once she recognized the warning signs, wouldn’t it be worth it?

We lose five children every day to child abuse in the U.S., and thousands more are injured. It is time for us to do everything we can to prevent and eliminate this tragic and unacceptable epidemic. What can you do to help?

http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20120605/OPINION04/306050034/Boyfriend-baby-sitters-common-child-abusers

I came across this article that was posted under one of the threads of an abused child. But it pertains to this topic so I thought I'd post it here. Good info:

Bad date

Why mom's boyfriend may be bad for her kids' health

by AMY KINGSLEY

Compatibility is complicated, even for twosomes. Personalities, interests and background all come into play. It gets even more complicated when you add kids to the mix.

Unfortunately, complicated doesn't even come close to describing the alleged crimes of Cory Terrell Simmons, who was arrested on Feb. 17 for murder by child abuse in the death of his girlfriend's child. Or to 3-year-old Adrian Garcia, who died at the hands of his mother's boyfriend.

The trial of Cody Geddings played out on the website of the Las Vegas Sun. He was watching 16-month-old Addison Weast on March 31, 2010, when the toddler suffered head injuries that led to her death two days later. His girlfriend, the child's mother, initially covered for him. But she testified against him at trial, and in January a jury found him guilty of second-degree murder.

Amanda Haboush, director of Prevent Child Abuse Nevada, is familiar with the statistics. Seven out of 12 deaths by child abuse in Clark County last year happened at the hands of a parent's partner or friend. In most cases, the mother's boyfriend inflicted the fatal abuse. Haboush's organization, which is affiliated with UNLV's Nevada Institute for Children's Research and Policy, has launched a campaign urging area parents to choose their partners carefully -- for the sake of their children. They had a press conference with Metro last week and put up posters at bus stations in areas of town with high rates of domestic violence.

The campaign is modeled on a similar program in Ohio, where researchers saw alarmingly high numbers of child abuse cases committed by boyfriends and girlfriends not related to the victim. Parents who think about the adults they bring into their children's lives may end up preventing serious injury and death.

"When that boyfriend is not related to the child, they don't have a natural attachment to the child," she said.

Most adults have a natural instinct to protect, or at least not hurt, small children. That may not be true for certain depraved souls. Other perpetrators may not actively try to hurt a child, but they may not know how to care for babies and toddlers. The doctors who testified at Geddings' trial said baby Addison may have died as a result of being shaken.

The Choose Your Partner carefully campaign urges parents to observe how their partners express emotions, and how they treats other children and adults. Angry types and people who regularly drink or use drugs shouldn't be entrusted with children.

It seems pretty obvious. Why would a mother or father leave their children with anyone with red flags like those? That answer is also pretty obvious: They think they don't have a choice.

In many cases, parents left children with someone they just started dating, someone they didn't know very well. They did it because they had to work, or go to an interview or doctor's appointment, and they didn't have access to regular child care.

Marlene Richter, director of Shade Tree Shelter for women and children, said she hears those stories. Mothers who can't afford child care often resort to family, friends and boyfriends, which can endanger their kids.

"Child care issues are huge," she said.

The campaign is aimed at parents. But none of the murders mentioned above were committed by parents. They were committed by other adults. So why isn't the campaign aimed at the adults who are actually committing the abuse?

Haboush said parents are responsible for the safety of their children. They must exercise caution when choosing care-givers. The campaign is supposed to remind parents to do just that whenever they leave their child with somebody new, whether it's a boyfriend, aunt or baby sitter.

Richter said society should scrutinize abusers more harshly than parents.

"To ask the mother or father, 'Didn't you sense danger?' At least at the same time you need to ask why this predator did this," she said.

She and her staff educate mothers about the dangers relationships can pose. If a boyfriend is abusive to her or her pets, there's a good chance he'll be violent to her children. In fact, in 60 percent of domestic abuse cases, the violence also extended to the children, according to client questionnaires.

Shelter staff members teach women not to rush into relationships for economic or emotional reasons. That could be the difference between life and death for some children. For Richter, the message just urges parents to treat partners the same way they would treat any baby sitter. Ask questions. Look into his background. Don't assume he will be nice to your child because he is nice to you.

"We have so many layers of background checks for anyone who works in a school or day care," Richter said. "This is a way to say to the moms and dads, 'Don't let your guard down.' Please don't accept help when you haven't checked it out."

Last updated on Saturday, April 14, 2012 at 1:52 pm

http://lasvegascitylife.com/articles/2012/04/14/news/local_news/iq_52612933.txt

WELL IT'S ABOUT THESE MOTHERS NOT OR REFUSING TO SEE SIGNS THAT THESE HORRIBLE BOYFRIENDS ARE TORTURING THEIR BABIES. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THESE MOTHERS ARE DEFENDING THEIR BOYFRIENDS OVER THEIR CHILDREN AND ARE IN DENIAL UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE. I WAS LISTENING TO A PASTOR TALK ABOUT THIS AND ABOUT HOW THESE WOMEN ARE CHOOSING THEIR BOYFRIENDS OVER THEIR KIDS. THAT MEANS THAT THE MOTHERS ARE JUST AS GUILTY AS THE MURDERER BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHO WATCHES OUR CHILDREN WHETHER IT BE A BOYFRIEND OR ANYONE ELSE. THERE ARE SIGNS THAT THE CHILD GIVES AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE THESE SIGNS THAT IT DANGEROUS AND THE CHILD IS BEING EXPOSED TO BEING NEGLECTED. THIS IS VERY SERIOUS STUFF AND IF THIS HAPPENED TO ME I'D FEEL LIKE I WOULD WANT TO DIE FOR EXPOSING MY SON TO A MONSTER AND I WOULD FEEL VERY RESPONSIBLE AS WELL. THIS IS AWFUL AND THIS WAS NOT A NATURAL DEATH HERE. THESE BABIES ARE GONE FOR GOOD AND BETTER FOR THEM IF THEY WEREN'T PROPERLY BEING CARED FOR.

THE MOTHER SHOULD BE MADE ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHO WATCHES THEIR CHILD. THAT IS ONLY COMMON SENSE.

I WOULD LOVE TO GET INPUT FROM THE MOTHERS THAT LEFT THEIR CHILDREN WITH SOMEONE WHO KILLED THEIR KIDS. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE VICTIM? WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY? DO YOU BLAME EVERYONE ELSE FOR THIS? WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHO TOOK CARE OF YOUR CHILD? ARE YOU JUST GLAD THAT YOU DIDN'T GET ARRESTED SO YOU COULD GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE, OR WAS YOUR BABY AN INCONVENIENCE.

RAISING AWARENESS OF BOYFRIENDS MURDERING CHILDREN IS AN EXCELLENT TOPIC BUT LET'S FACE IT, IT'S THE MOTHERS THAT MAKE THESE STUPID DECISIONS TO BEGIN WITH. HOW ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE GIVE YOUR CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT WHO IS WATCHING YOUR CHILD. SAVING A FEW BUCKS SO THAT THE BOYFRIEND CAN MURDER A CHILD ISN'T THE ANSWER. THERE ARE MOTHERS OUT THERE THAT DON'T GET IT AND DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT THE RESPONSIBILIY FOR THIS CHILD NEGLECT. RAISING AWARENESS WORKS FOR THOSE WHO ARE WILLING TO WANT TO BE AWARE. THESE KINDS OF THINGS HAPPEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN IT'S STILL NOT STICKING. IT'S ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSES FAULT BUT THEIR OWN. YOU CAN'T LEARN A LESSON IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO ADMIT YOU MADE A TRAGIC MISTAKE THAT AFFECTED A LIFE. LIKE THOSE DUMMIES IN JAIL RIGHT NOW THAT STILL SAY THEY "DIDN'T KILL THEIR GIRLFRIEND'S BABY" THAT "THEY LOVED THEM TO DEATH". HOW ABOUT BRINGING UP THE NAMES OF THESE MOTHERS THAT WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO BUY INTO WHAT THEIR BOYFRIEND SAID. I STILL THINK THEY NEED TO BE IN THE CELL NEXT TO THEIR BOYFRIENDS BECAUSE THEY GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO KILL THEM. HOW ABOUT "DON'T GIVE UP YOUR BABY'S RIGHTS TO BE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND". javascript:emoticonp(':::slut:::')

DON'T LET YOUR BOYFRIEND LOVE YOUR CHILD TO DEATH. THAT IS WHAT THE MURDERER OF MY GRANDCHILD SAID. HE SAID POINT BLANK THAT HE LOVED HER TO DEATH.

IF PARENTS ARE ULTIMATELY REPONSIBLE FOR THE SAFETY OF THEIR CHILDREN, THEN WHY IS IT THAT THEY AREN'T ARRESTED WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR CHILD WITH SOMEONE WHO KILLS THEM? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT. PAINTING A PRETTY PICTURE OF BEING THE MODEL PARENT IS PROBABLY A FACTOR IN THE DECISION OF WHETHER OR NOT THE PARENT IS INVOLVED IN THE CHILD'S WELLBEEING. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THE JUSTICE SYSTEM. I GUESS I NEED TO READ MORE ON THIS SUBJECT AND ASK QUESTIONS BECAUSE I'M NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT. IT'S NOT JUST ME IT'S OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL. THESE KINDS OF THINGS I WOULD ASSUME ARE DONE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS BECAUSE CHILD ASSAULT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO OPENLY SHOW THE PUBLIC.

I DO LIKE THIS TOPIC IMMENSELY!!!

HOW ABOUT "CHOOSE LIFE FOR YOUR CHILDREN" OR "DON'T SLEEP WITH THE ENEMY". LIKE THAT MOVIE "SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY". THAT'S WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE THESE WOMEN ARE DOING. THEY ARE COMPROMISING HENCE PUTTING THEIR CHILDREN IN HARMS WAY.

HOW ABOUT HOLDING MOMS RESPONSIBLE ALONG WITH THE BOYFRIENDS WHEN THEIR CHILDREN ARE MURDERED. CHARGE THE MOTHERS WITH UNLAWFUL DEATH LIKE IN THE CASE OF OJ SIMPSON. THESE MOTHERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED YET PLAY STUPID SO THAT THEY WON'T BE RESPONSIBLE ALONG WITH THEIR BED PARTNER. IF THEY WERE HELD RESPONSIBLE MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THERE WOULD BE LESS BABIES MURDERED, OR MAYBE NOT, I DON'T KNOW. THESE WOMEN THAT ALLOW THEIR PARTNER TO ABUSE AND MURDER THEIR KIDS ARE SICK WOMEN WHO ARE MENTALLY ILL AND SHOULD BE PROHIBITED FROM TAKING CARE OF OTHER CHILDREN. IF THEY CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN HOW CAN THEY BE TRUSTED TO TAKE CARE OF OTHER PEOPLES KIDS. THERES NO WAY I WOULD LET MY CHILD BE WATCHED BY SOMEONE WHO ALLOWED THEIR CHILD TO BE MURDERED BY THEIR PARTNER.

DON'T ALLOW YOUR PASSIONS TO CLOUD YOUR JUDGEMENT BY HAVING YOUR CHILDREN GET SLAUGHTERED BY YOUR BOYFRIEND.

this is why i believe in adoption. some people aren't cut out or ready to be parents and there are a lot of people out there that would love to be parents to children, and good parents. i favor adoption for reasons like this. having a child is a very important responsibility and it involves who will be watching your child when you are working. once you have a child you are no longer first. your child is first and comes before you. 

in her honor

THESE BABIES THAT GET MURDERED BY THE BOYFRIENDS!! IT'S OBVIOUS THAT THE MOTHER DOESN'T DESERVE HER BABY THEREFORE SHE NO LONGER BECOMES A MOTHER BECAUSE SHE CHOSE HER BOYFRIEND OVER HER BABY AND THESE PIECES OF SH.... MOTHERS BELONG IN JARS IN A CELL SOMEWHERE. I'M SURE SOME OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS OF THIS MOTHER ARE NOT DESIRIOUS OF HER ACTIONS AS WELL. ONLY THOSE IN DENIAL ARE GOING TO STICK UP FOR THEIR MEMBERS WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE GUILTY OR INNOCENT. THEY BECOME FOOLS THEMSELVES ALONG WITH THE POS MOTHERS.

IN HER HONOR